Happy Birthday

I went shopping for your birthday,

Had your present in my hand.

Then I saw what they were asking—

Hope this song will understand.

I could say you’re getting wiser,

But we both know that ain’t true.

You’ve just learned to hide the evidence

Of half the things you do.

Happy birthday, you mean a lot to me.

You’re a pain in the ass,

But you’re my kind of company.

We can laugh till we cry,

We can tell the whole damn truth.

Thank God for another year—

I’m sure glad there’s a you.

We put candles on your birthday cake,

Then backed away a bit.

Somebody hollered, “Make a wish!”

I hollered, “Don’t spit!”

You said, “Age is just a number.”

Well, I guess that much is true.

But the noises getting off that couch

Are telling tales on you.

Happy birthday, you mean a lot to me.

You’re a pain in the ass,

But you’re my kind of company.

We can laugh till we cry,

We can tell the whole damn truth.

Thank God for another year—

I’m sure glad there’s a you.

Now let me quit my kidding,

There’s something you should know.

I don’t say it near enough,

But I hope my actions show.

You don’t have to earn your place

Or prove a thing today.

I thank God you’re in my life—

That’s what I came to say.

Happy birthday, you mean a lot to me.

You’re a pain in the ass,

But you’re my kind of company.

We’ve got more laughs to share,

More good left to do.

Thank God for another year—

I’m sure glad there’s a you.

Get right, do right,

Keep that good heart true.

Now cut the cake before I cry—

And make mine big as you!

My slice. Not my age.

Happy birthday. Love you.