Tariffied

[Vocal - No twang, no country accent]
The tariffs are coming
There is nothing to fear
So said our dear leader
When he had our ear

He said not to worry
Sit back and relax
Other countries will
Pay the tariff tax

But now it appears
That’s not how tariffs work
Could it be that dear leader
Is just a lying jerk?

Tariff one product
And tariff two
Tariff me
And tariff you
Tell me please
What do tariffs really do?
Tax us, tax us, tax us
Till we’re feeling blue.

Maybe a drink
Will help me think clear
I went to the store
To buy Molson beer

But prices are high
For where Molson is made
Is somewhere in Canada
And tariffs are paid

Not by Canadian brewers
Or northern exporters
But by the U S company
Who is the importer

They will pass tariffs along
To consumers who shop
And pay higher prices
But wish tariffs would stop.

Tariff one beer
And tariff two
Tariff me
And tariff you
Tell me please
What do tariffs really do?
Tax us, tax us, tax us
Till we’re black and blue.

It’s like a bad dream
We’re being taxed more
By our dear leader
And like never before

You can forget that new car
That once looked so good
Unless you can find one
Made completely of wood

Tariffs are high
On aluminum and steel
So, pray your old car
Does not lose a wheel

Tariff one car
And tariff two
Tariff me
And tariff you
Tell me please
What do tariffs really do?
Tax us, tax us, tax us
I’m telling you true.

Dear leader, dear leader
What will you say
When people stop buying
Because they can’t pay?

The cost of tariffs
Raises prices on things
The economy will slow
And recession it brings

America will be great
I can hear you say
While we will be poorer
Our money taxed away

Do the tariff dance
The tariff boogaloo
Tariff me
And tariff you
Tell me please
What do tariffs really do?
Tax us, tax us, tax us
Our dear leader’s F U

If you think tariffs are great
Then you have been had
History has proven
That tariffs are bad

Dear leader may stay rich
While we become poor
As we rise united to say
Tariff tax us no more

Take to the streets
And vote we all must
Our message to dear leader
Is free trade or bust